Fitz's Poetry

Dark and moody is fitz's poetry....things left unsaid

 

True Self

Those who are here don't know the real me,

they only see what i show them, which is the false self

the true self is locked within myself and only a few shall ever see

only the ones i care about shall know the scared, lonely person that is inside of me

Lost Way

I have lost my way in the path of my life,

i have failed once again and all my life

noone really cares and noone really knows.

My life have been gone, my life has been found,

noone can help for my life is aground.

Who in life cares who in life knows,can anyone help me find the way to be

found

Noone

Noone can help me, noone knows how.

Noone cares about my problems, noone cares about theirs.

Noone loves me, noone loves themselves.

Noone knows anything, noone can help, nothing changes

Aloneness

I am alone on this world, i fight my battles by myself. I don't know how to go on but i find i must. How can people be so strong, when i am a weakling, how can others see the day through without going insane. How can others look at me and not see the pain behind my eyes. How can noone care. I am truly alone in the world and i fight for myself and everyone else...but nobody cares...why should i care? I find i cannot do other then care about people who do not care for me. I am weak

Die

How can i do anything at all,

the world is weeping.

I try and try but still fail, will i ever succeed?

I try to live but i die

I look at myself in the mirror and i see,

the person dying in front of me.

All My Life

All my life i've done nothing at all,

All my life i've wanted to feel special and loved,

All my life i've wanted to leave,

All my life i've wanted to die.

 

I look around and i see everyone happy,

everyone is happy but me.

Everyone asks what is wrong,

but if i tell them then they will begone.

 

All my life i've wanted to be held

All my life i've wanted to be cared for

Why am i alone?

What have i done to deserve this?

Don't i deserve some happyness?

All i want is.....love

Lifeline

I hold tightly to my lifeline knowing that any second it can snap

i look the other way when somthing goes wrong.

Everyone is laughing at me, they know i am a fool

I just don't realize it yet, but eventually i will realize that my lifeline is gone

Everyday i do the same old thing, i fight my battles

i win some and i lose some

the angel of death is looming over me....waiting for me to lose

and i know that i have already lost....for i have no lifeline anymore

Night

One night as i lay sleeping
Worn down by a night of weeping
I was awakened by the sound
Of sweet music all around...
In the room there was a glow
And feelings of safety I'd yet to know
Beside me on the bed
Sat an angel at my head...
No dread was felt or sense of fear
For I sensed she was alwalys near
Thought never did she speak
She stroked my hair and touched my cheek...
I snuggled close as i felt i must
And fo rthe first time I felt trust
With this guardian from above
Was the first time i felt love...
As her fingers stroked my hair
I knew i would someday this story share
I had angels as my "mothers"
I would survive to help others...
To let children know they are not alone
In this world of cold hard stone
When they suffer because of those they love
They are being watched over from above....
Some will live and carry on
Some will be carried home
But inside each tear that on a cheek does glisten...
Like a message for those who listen
And thougth they do not alwalys appear
These angels of mine they are alwalys near
And when we are faced with pain and wrath
There is a reason for the path...
Today when memories invoke sadness
Wondering if there was method to this madness
I cling tightly to the sight
Of the angel in the glowing night...

Hate
All this anger is burning inside,
Everyone had better run and hide.
My mind is quickly fading away,
this might be the final day.
If you think this is going to rhyme,
then your going blind.

Why does everything start to go wrong.
why does the pain return and return,
to haunt me forever as my eternity of pain
Why do i feel the need to hate.
why do i feel the need to rant and rave.

Hate is within us all,
some of use don't show it but its there
Some of us do show it and it is feared.
The rest of us wait for the end

Alone

I am alone, my life is hell.

Noone can see the pain behind my eyes.

I love another who doesn't love me

I no longer can tide with friends alone, i need someone to hold me, love me

Do i deserve to be alone?, do i deserve to live?

My feelings don't matter to others, they don't care

Life is over.

By myself

By myself i can cry,

when i am with others i hold it in.

My fragil cage is about to break,

i can no longer hold it in.

My one true isn't even there

why do i go on?

can i end it?

do i have the power to do so?

shall i do it?

if only i was cared for as i care for others.

Trapped and Beaten

I am alone, alone all the time

do i deserve this?, i wonder why.

When shall i be set free?

 

A visious circle has trapped me

my heart is broken into three.

The way out was there,

but now its gone

 

When i am alone i cry to myself,

when i am with others i small and say its alright.

My life is full of regret and sorrow,

i know longer know how to handle it alone.

 

I look at the gun,

i see a way out even though i don't know why

My life is ending and noone knows why...

Humanity

Life is supposed to be good,

i am done school.

Why is it so bad then?

Why does everything go so wrong?

Why does everyone else seem to have it better?

My parents vow to get rid of me,

no matter what i do for them it isn't enough.

My friends are deserting me in my time of need,

almost like there is no tomorow for me.

 

I am human but i am being treated like less then human.

My humanity is fading....

I am reverting into a lesser self,

nothing cna stop it, nothing cna help.

All humanity is fading into the evil night,

i shall disappear.